Working with Self-Love

We spend so much time trying to love and care for others that we can forget about ourselves along the way.

The relationship that we have with ourselves is the most important relationship of all, yet can be the most complicated one. There are many emotions that cause a complicated relationship with oneself, but shame has to be one of the most powerful that we experience as human beings.

Shame has played a large part in my relationship with myself and it is something that I have struggled with. I think the most challenging aspect of shame is that it is mostly self-inflicted. Shame for how I have shown up in relationship with others; partners, friends, family, acquaintances. Shame around how I abandoned myself for years because of the deep pain I was desperately trying to run from.

Depending on the situation, the antidote to shame can be gratitude. Gratitude for the lessons that accompany the shame and the strength it takes to pull oneself out of the spiral that comes with it. Honestly, I’m not sure that shame ever truly disappears, but its’ impact on us can lessen as we learn to be kinder and softer with ourselves.

Learning to love yourself is a process. It is messy and difficult but also one of the most rewarding journeys that we can have. With that being said, sometimes starting with love can be too overwhelming. Maybe just learning to like yourself or even just tolerate yourself is enough right now.

Try this: (This exercise can be done while looking at a mirror or not. Adding a mirror to this exercise might take time and that’s ok!) Say something kind quietly to yourself. Whether it is something that you appreciate, admire, respect, did well or just like about who you are. It could even be thanking yourself for getting out of bed today, whatever arises is true for you. Be prepared that this might feel hard, weird or awkward. It may even feel forced, that’s okay too. This is a small step that we can take daily to help build our relationship with ourselves over time. What would you say if no one was listening?

I’ll go first: I’m so proud of how far you have come 💕