Negative Self-Talk

How you speak to yourself matters.

We are our harshest critics. Typically, this negative self-talk begins early in our lives as children and teens. We become so used to speaking badly to ourselves; putting ourselves down, telling ourselves that we are not *fill in the blank* enough. It becomes a well-worn pattern that can feel impossible to break.

The more that our minds produce negative self-talk, the more likely we are to choose to speak to ourselves negatively over time. The more that we think in a certain direction, the more likely the mind defaults in that direction, creating a pattern.

In order to begin to fight back against negative self-talk, the first step is to bring awareness to our thoughts. Although it is extremely difficult to control our thoughts, we do hold the power to interrupt unhealthy thoughts and replace them with more supportive ones. It is about shifting away from an automatic, negative reaction that is usually unconscious, to consciously replacing it with more intentional thoughts to create a new pattern. The more awareness that we have around our thoughts as they arise, the more likely we are to catch negative self-talk and break the habit of bringing ourselves down.

Try this for a day: Each time you catch yourself thinking a negative thought about yourself, get curious about it! Even just bringing awareness to the negative thought can take away some of its power. To take it one step further, take the negative thought and replace it with the complete opposite. For example: “I am unlovable, nobody understands me”, gets replaced with “I am lovable and haven’t met the right person/people for me yet”.

Conscious and consistent efforts to interrupt negative thinking patterns over time can truly change the way we think. It is a daily practice that will not always be perfect or easy! Remember: you are not your thoughts and most importantly, don’t forget to be kind to yourself along the way.